I Hate You (A Love Letter to My Mother): Healing Paper Cuts, Mother Wounds, and Intergenerational Pain
I Hate You (A Love Letter to My Mother): Healing Paper Cuts, Mother Wounds, and Intergenerational Pain
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Through the dual lenses of the child who lived it and the therapist healing from it, this intimate memoir traces the devastating impact of intergenerational trauma, ultimately showing us how to transcend our own lineages and transform our lives.
Suzanne spent most of her life hating her mother and trying not to. When her mom died, she expected to feel relief. Instead, she was flooded with grief for the mom she never had. As she journaled her pain, Suzanne discovered the brute— and brutal—power of the mother wound. She uncovered her mother’s hidden inner fortress, built to protect her mom from her own childhood, and she finally understood why she had never been enough. Their shared lineage of pain had robbed her of the mom she needed, and it nearly robbed her of herself.
Now a Harvard-trained psychologist, Suzanne grew up desperate to be seen, taken seriously, and chosen over her mother’s next drink. Every day felt like a battle for her existence, and she always lost. Each loss was a paper cut, painful and invisible. The cuts evolved into a festering wound that engulfed her and ultimately shaped who she became.
Trying to be worthy enough, hiding all of her shame, Suzanne ended up lost behind her pasted-on, people-pleasing smile. Her perfect veneer hid bullying, sexual abuse, a violent boyfriend, and most of herself. And then she made a decision that changed everything. Slowly, she stopped hiding and learned how to create a life centered on her, not on the pain of being her mother’s child.
Suzanne’s story bears witness to the children who were disregarded and had to be their parents’ emotional caretakers. Her experience-based description of the mother wound validates not only her pain, but ours. The psychological wisdom she weaves throughout her story shows us how our parents wound us, how those wounds shape us, and how we can shape ourselves. This is so much more than a memoir – it’s a guidebook to becoming an active creator in your life, living with less pain and much more juice.
I Hate You (A Love Letter to My Mother) is a love letter to all of us. It was written for anyone on their own journey of transforming their relationships with their parents and themselves.
Details: Paperback, Signed by the author!
